Do you feel judged loving FSOG?
I’ve been asked an interesting question and I think it’s a valid one (thank you to the reader who brought it up). Will you go to the movie theatre to see the FSOG movie (whenever that will be) or will you rent/buy the DVD so you can watch it privately? Is FSOG your dirty little secret or are you (happily) out of the erotica closet?
There still seems to be a huge stigma attached to this specific book, not to mention the erotica genre in general. Even things like e-readers advertise the perk of enjoying your secret reads in privacy. On E L James’ website she calls herself a provocative romance writer and though I love the term enough to have adopted it for myself, I can’t help wondering if there was a part of her that felt the pressure of judgement writing something so south of the belt. Still so many people only know about the sex in FSOG, automatically assuming that it’s some deviant, kinky sex book. In a world where we are more sexually liberated than ever, why are so many of us still feeling condemned indulging in something that’s fictional, natural, consensual and – for the most part – within the confines of a loving marriage?
Psychology 101 tells us there’s a social bias called illusion of transparency where people tend to overestimate others’ ability to know them, and they also overestimate their ability to know others. By this construct people might not judge us as harshly as you think, and by the same token those same people might very well enjoy the same things you do even though they might not be able or willing to reveal it.
With this in mind I’m almost certain that your “prim and proper” colleague/ friend/ neighbour would love FSOG as much as you do if she only bothered to give it a chance, and even if she didn’t, might think less badly of you than you think….
I hate doing this to you two weeks in a row, but we have a swimming carnival on at school this week and it’s all hands on deck, so I will not have my usual off day to finish chapter 41 in time for Friday’s post. I’m sorry!
Hopefully I can post over the weekend.