Chapter 38

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His heat, his touch, his scent all worked as one to bring me back to myself, to reconnect the drifting pieces of my sanity. I couldn’t even muster the anger I should’ve felt for him leaving me hanging – maybe later – but for now this was exactly where I wanted to be.

“It’s all over baby. All over.” He repeated his whispered words, again and again until I felt it lift the cloak of heaviness surrounding me. His arms, like guardrails, at once reassuring and supportive – holding me, anchoring me, reminding me. I just breathed through it all, maybe for the first time in days.

As his mumblings sank in, my consciousness twined around it, curling, weaving, grabbing, trying to make it mine. How could it be over? What happened? What did it matter if he was here? I lifted my head, away from the steady thump of his heart, from the seeping warmth of his chest to find his gaze. I was desperate for the comfort of what he was saying but fear blurred the edges of my reality, I couldn’t wrap my mind around separating the two.

“It’s over?” blinking I could feel the cold moisture on my lashes, the wet rivulets along my nose, dripping off my chin. His eyes burned with a gentle light but his face was tired, haunted. I hated that he had to live through yet another nightmare and by the lingering shadows I knew it had been a rough one. He kissed the bunched V between my brows with a reverence that shook my foundations, my throat closing with the intensity of the moment.

His head dipped as he put his lips to mine, a gentle brush before he pulled away to measure its effect on me. “Yes,” he confirmed; a slight curve of amusement tugging the corner of his mouth, tickled by my stupefied expression. Apparently pleased with my reaction his greedy hand felt free enough to fist in my hair as he adjusted the angle of his head before bearing down again, sealing his mouth over mine with unmistakable intent. My gasp let his tongue in, the invasion hot and smooth and firm. With skill that belied all rhyme and reason he slid that sleek wet tongue along mine, every motion coaxing mine to respond.

It was a searing kiss, one that left little doubt that we were both alive. I melted into him, growing languid in his hold as he took possession of my mouth, giving myself wholly to his tenure. I savoured the moment of submission, ravenously taking everything he gave without the burden of thinking or making decisions – I felt light, free. It felt right.

He ended our melding of mouths with a gentle tug, his teeth raking slowly over my bottom lip as he drew away. The earlier harrowed look was gone, replaced with a hooded satisfaction that was weighted with every ounce of his need for me. Only when his thumbs smeared away my tears did I release the gripped bunch of his shirt back I was clinging to.

Earlier it was shock but now it was breathlessness that stole the lilt of my words when I tried to speak. Looking into the depths of those imploring grey oceans I finally found the strength to talk, “What happened? We were so worried.” The accusatory tone snuck in, the long wait for news too vivid and raw to supress.

His palms wrapped around my shoulders, pushing back to create more space between us so he could take a good look at my face. I was taken aback by his frown and his question, “What do you mean? Weren’t you watching the webcast?”

Again I blinked, confused, “Uhm, yes of course but… the feed…” I could hardly string a sentence together, my brain still fried from the memory.

He shook his head as his fingers dug into my flesh, his frown only folding deeper, “What about the feed baby?”

I could only gape at him, my mouth opening and closing without will. Finally Ray stepped in, his baritone low, as if he didn’t want to intrude in our moment, “We lost the feed Christian, the broadcast was cut right after we saw you and Taylor go down.”

Christian inhaled sharply, confusion melted into horror, “Oh fuck! Jeez baby, I’ so sorry! If I’d known… I would never have…” His words faded as dismay hit home. In a move a little too fierce to call a hug he roughly clamped me back into his tight embrace. His shock and regret lent credence to the anguish I just went through, at least I felt vindicated in my annoyance.

With that cat-like fluidity of his he lifted me, cradling me to his chest before setting us down on the nearby couch. I was only too happy to stay on his lap, curled into his vital warmth as he stroked my hair and apologised – repeatedly.

Sawyer handed him a cup of coffee and left tea for me within reach. Christian offered him a cup salute before he took a big swig of the velvet black brew. Ray did the same before pinning Christian with a serious look, “Tell us what the hell happened son.”

He set the cup down, grimacing from the hot coffee. This close to his white dress shirt I noticed a smudge of blood on the opposite shoulder I was wedged against. The sight of it sickeningly real.

He shoved a hand through his messy hair then turned his attention to Ray, “Did you manage to see the shooter?” Even though we had heard the shots in the background the confirmation still made me wince, my body tensing as it responded to the horrible recollection. It earned me a tighter squeeze and another kiss on the crown of my head.

“No, we watched you and Taylor walking along the isle between the seats, something drawing Taylor’s attention and the two of you going down. We heard shots, shouting and then nothing. Nada.”

Christian stroked his chin with his free hand, “The feed must’ve been cut deliberately, I didn’t know but I should’ve guessed. The UN would never allow the broadcast of a security breach like that. It would be an open invitation for all sorts of crazies to pull similar stunts to gain press for their causes. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if we couldn’t find any trace of it on the net now. By tomorrow we’ll see a heavily edited version of what happened in the news – if at all.” He offered Ray a pointed look, implying Ray’s grasp of vanishing sensitive information.

I watched Ray’s lips thin as he nodded – he clearly understood. “You’re probably right but hell, the timing left us hanging. I think your wife here damn near expired.” The jesting rebuke was meant to bring some levity, he delivered it with a crooked grin but I could see Ray was making light of the fact that even he had been worried. I felt a surge of love and gratitude for my dad; he never let on, keeping his fears to himself to help me cope.

This time Christian directed his apology to Ray and to Sawyer, catching both men’s gazes with solemn eyes. “I must apologise, I would have done anything in my power to contact you earlier if I had known.”

“Sir we couldn’t reach Taylor or Brandon either, I’d hate to land anyone in it but as I recall protocol dictated we be contactable at all times.” Sawyer’s ire was understandable, he must’ve placed a hundred calls over the last four or so hours, I had front row seats to his rising frustration with every ring that went unanswered.

I could feel the gentle chuckle vibrate in Christian’s chest but he was rubbing at his eyes, exhausted. “No Luke, protocol didn’t change but it was all such a fucking mess, a comedy of errors if it wasn’t so damn serious. When Taylor took me down his phone skidded away, we didn’t have time to retrieve it, Brandon’s got smashed in the scuffle that ensued with David and mine is with the police, I had to leave it as evidence.”

As one we stiffened at the mention of David’s name but Ray picked up the thread, “So David was there? He was the shooter?”

“Yeah, he was there, the fucker.” The bitter twist in his tone was telling, chilling. “I don’t know how he thought he’d get away with it and at an event like that, jammed packed with the cream of the world’s security.” He paused, pensive for a beat as he shook is head. “He must’ve been under serious pressure to get the job done. He was in disguise, posing as one of the guests. The police will investigate but I’ll bet anything that the real guest met with an untimely accident.”

My stomach fell and rolled, an innocent person might be dead because of this. I couldn’t help but wonder if Christian would end up nursing an unhealthy dose of guilt because of it.

Ray whistled through his teeth, eyes large and disbelieving, “So he just got up and took a shot at you in the middle of the ceremony? That’s insane, akin to suicide under the circumstances.”

Sawyer nodded his assent, a similar wide-eyed expression gracing his face, “Hell, they must’ve had something on him; that’s a desperate man’s actions,” he confirmed.

Christian’s head swung to Sawyer, “I agree; Taylor reckons he ran out of time – the meaty fee he was going to earn turned into a threat instead, maybe to his family. He panicked when he realised we were leaving and apparently decided it was now or never.”

Oh, we thought they were heading back to their seats.

Both Ray and Sawyer muttered expletives as they sat, processing the new bit of information. I nestled deeper into Christian’s arms, shifting even closer. I felt him shiver when I pressed a kiss to his neck, breathing in his scent.

“So he took a shot, he missed and then?” Ray leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, eager for the story’s conclusion.

“Well, you can imagine, pandemonium ensued, everybody ducking, yelling. What must’ve been close to eighty close personal protection agents doing everything they could to protect their marks. It was crowded. No one had a clear shot, even if they could identify him. After the first shot he blended into the sea of bodies, all the men dressed in black tuxedos. It was almost impossible to pick him out if you didn’t know who you were looking for.” He took another sip of his coffee before passing me my mug of tea. I took a grateful gulp and listened to him fill in the blanks.

“Brandon spotted him. He circled through the crowd, approaching the perp from behind to relieve him of his firearm. He was clearly unstable, who knows how much damage he would’ve done so we needed to neutralise him ASAP. Brandon pinned his left arm behind his back but David put up a hard fight. He fired two more rounds into the ceiling, discharging his weapon in the fray before Brandon kicked it away and pinned him with a headlock. By that time every agent in the room had a hand on their sidearm and eyes on the pair them.”

“David was yelling for them to shoot Brandon, that he was the perp who fired the first shot. I pried myself loose from Taylor’s death grip to see what I could do to manage the situation – the last fucking thing we needed was some trigger happy secret service hero – but Taylor all but tackled me back to the ground.” I could see his bafflement now as he thought of Taylor’s actions but I knew he was only keeping his promise to me – honouring his vow to keep Christian out of trouble. It left me with a warm feeling, a swelling heart of gratitude.

“Fuck me,” Sawyer voiced his incredulousness on a breath before remembering himself, mumbling a sheepish sorry but no one paid attention, we were all too riveted to judge his colourful language – hell Christian could cuss with the best of them.

“I pushed myself back up only to hear another shot before the whole auditorium went quiet. Both Brandon and David dropped. When I saw Taylor lowering his service pistol, I knew that Brandon would be okay, Taylor would never have taken the shot if he wasn’t certain of his target. Moments later we heard Brandon groan as he pushed David’s slumping weight off his chest. It all happened so fast, maybe five or six minuted from start to end.”

Ray slumped back into his seat, exhaling a slow breath, “So David is dead.” It wasn’t a question, merely an observation – we all knew Taylor’s marksmanship was outstanding. “I’m surprised Taylor took him out. If Brandon had him secured and his firearm was out of the way he didn’t pose a threat anymore.”

Christian’s expression turned grim, distaste so obvious you’d have to be blind to miss it. “I think he was thinking about saving Brandon then. Like I said if someone tried to play hero and took a shot they might’ve gotten Brandon. It was Taylor’s way of eliminating the threat with the least possible chance of negative outcomes.” He wore a sombre, sober look, weary and drained. In the back of my mind I recalled his dislike of firearms in general, how did he feel now that one played a role in saving him?

“And Brandon is okay?” Sawyer needed confirmation, the positive outcome something to hold onto in a profession where survival was sometimes tenuous.

Christian shot him a wry smile, “Yeah, he’s fine, just pissed at Taylor for stealing his thunder.”

The men chuckled in a shared moment of male-pride solidarity but it left me baffled. Why would anyone want to get the opportunity to shoot someone?

“So what did you do the other three hours and fifty seven minutes before showing up here?” Now that he knew the worst of the story was over, Ray slipped back into his usual measured ways.

Christian eyed him with a grin. Something unspoken passed between them, as if they both knew exactly what Christian was doing during those dragging hours. Awareness prickled at the nape of my neck, I hoped they weren’t still hiding things from me. Christian shook his head again, raking his hand through his hair. “Jeez the red tape! You wouldn’t fucking believe the pile of forms and crap we had to get through with the police.”

Ray threw his head back, laughing heartily and I felt a surge of relief washing over me as I grasped their little insider joke. Ray despised the long reports that were always due after a mission. Now, he relished someone sharing the woes of the laborious chore that came with trudging through the red tape inherent to the public nuisance of a shooting, property damage and sometimes loss of life. “I’m sorry to say I do! I know exactly what you had to put up with.” He rubbed at his leaking eyes, enjoying the mirth.

Sawyer, with his ties to the FBI, was also laughing as hard, “You’ve not seen anything! No one does bureaucracy like the FBI. Try what you did today in triplicate.”

Both Ray and Christian were waving their palms at Sawyer in a no-thank-you gesture, still chuckling. It was nice to see the men in my life smiling again but I couldn’t bring myself to join their merriment. David might be out of the picture but the spectre of a big multi-national corporation that obviously wanted Christian out of the way still ate at my belly. I knew for sure that my stubborn husband would never let go of whatever project had them so rattled.

Sawyer’s smile dropped when he clocked my unhappy face, instantly connecting with my unspoken fear. He cleared his throat with a cough that attracted Ray and Christian’s attention, their smiles frozen as they looked at a now serious Luke.  “Sir, I don’t want to be the buzz kill but have you considered what you’re going to do about the corporation that requested David’s specific set of skills?” I knew he was euphemizing for my sake and under the circumstances I appreciated it.

We all stiffened at his question but in spite of the weight of it bearing down on my shoulders I was glad that he asked. Christian regarded him for a second, assessing. “It’s not something I’m at liberty to discuss but in answer to your question, yes, I have and the issue has been…” he searched for an appropriate word, looking to Sawyer and then to Ray to make sure they were clear on what he was about to say, “resolved.” I could hear the sound of finality on his tone, one that brooked no argument, no further questioning. After the length of two beats of a heart both men seemed to accept his vague explanation but a thousand questions exploded in my mind.

There was no way I was going to let that clarification slide but now was not the time to bring it up. Instead I focused on getting more facts, “So how did you get here?”

He banded both arms around me and squeezed; his appreciative groan low enough for only me to hear. “Baby, I couldn’t stand another minute being without you and Chris. I took Charlie Tango and if it’s all the same to you,” he caught Ray’s eye, “I’d like to take my wife and son home tomorrow.” He landed another smacker on my head and I sighed with the pleasure of it.

Ray gave Christian a lopsided smile, “Be my guest, she’s been mopey without you anyway.” He winked, showing me that he was teasing.

I gave him a smile back, a little weak but at least I could crack one. I was so tired, more so now that this whole thing was over. I knew it was going to take me a while to trust the peace that was supposedly coming our way but I was grateful for the opportunity to try nonetheless. As if my body was agreeing I yawned, prompting Christian to stand up with me in his arms. “Let’s get you to bed Mrs Grey.”

Ray offered his double bed to us but Christian declined. He paused for a brief conversation with Luke about tomorrow’s plans then headed to the bathroom. I wasn’t at all surprised to notice the camera eye was already turned away. With a touching tenderness he slid me to my feet, turning my face to his as he cupped my jaw. “I’ve missed you Mrs Grey.” His stormy gaze turned darker and I felt the familiar heat pool between my legs, melting, spreading as its flames licked at my skin.

“I’ve missed you too. So much.” I let my hands journey over his shoulders, his back, settling on his firm chest.

His answering smile was dazzling and knowing at once. He stoked my cheek then ran the pad of his thumb over my lips before replacing it with his gentle mouth. “Baby, you’re exhausted. Let me take care of you tonight, we can celebrate tomorrow.”

I nodded, not quite sure where this was headed but whatever he had in mind I’d be with him. I couldn’t think of a single thing to grumble about. Satisfied he smiled and flipped the tap in the shower. He stripped me carefully, reverentially before pulling his own clothes off in haste. When his erection sprang free my mouth watered, my tiredness vanished thanks to a rush of endorphins and desire.

He cocked a brow at my hungry stare. Shaking his head slowly he bit his lip, “Tomorrow,” he purred. “Tonight, more than anything I just want to look after you. Please baby, give me this. Let me wash you. Let me hold you. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” His fingers were combing through my hair, separating the strands. I could see the need in his gaze, could feel it in mine but there was no way in hell I was going to deny him a request that left me breathless with love for him.

I could do nothing more than nod my acquiescence, the tightening of my chest preventing the utterance of even a single word. I watched as relief flooded light into his gaze before he bundled us into the small stall. He washed every part of me, tenderly, gently, carefully. After the shower he dried my hair then brushed it out. His long, elegant fingers curled around the handle, his hands moving with long, sure strokes. It was blissful, relaxing in a way that had the recent tensions seem miles away.

The only thing he allowed me to do for myself, and even then it was reluctantly, was to let me brush my own teeth. I got the sense that he felt guilty, that his underlying motivation was to make me feel the opposite of what we just went through. To remind me of all that was good in our relationship, that it wasn’t always burdened with dark threats. He wanted me to keep my association with him positive. To me it was wholly unnecessary but I could easily give him this if that’s what he needed, especially as guilt was the last thing I wanted him to feel.

He slipped a big T-shirt over my head and pulled on a pair of boxers for himself. We tiptoed into my bedroom, careful not to wake Chris. I scooted into the narrow single bed, watching him as he bent over his son’s sleeping form. He kissed Chris’ forehead then buried his nose in his hair. It was clear that he thought of his deep inhalation as a cleansing breath, it made my heart soar to see that he could find such joy in his son.

When he slipped into my bed he wasted no time gathering me to him. Almost greedily he pulled my back to his front snaking his legs between mine then held on as if he needed me like he did his next breath. Combing my hair away from my neck, he dipped his face into the crook there. His nuzzling sent shivers skittering down my spine. I giggled softly when we sighed together, our shared joy brimming.

I lifted my arm, looping it around the back of his neck to keep him in place because his closeness was delicious but also, I wanted to show him that I was right there with him – feeling what he was feeling, revelling in our reunion.

“Please tell me it’s really over?” The lingering fear let my words sound pleading. I was still too caught up in recent events to shrug it off.

“You know I’d never lie about something like that right – even to protect you?” I heard the hint of hurt indignation but desperation overrode my careful instincts just then.

“I don’t think you’re lying but I need to understand what happened so I can feel safe. It’s too vague right now, too ethereal.” I was ashamed to add that panic still consumed me, a constant reel of what-ifs replayed in my head, taunting me with their horrific possibilities.

“I’m not comfortable with you knowing the details of the deal I made, it leaves you exposed again. The less you know the safer you are. Is that not enough for you?”

Here I was trying to get rid of the panic but his denial only made it worse. Was it illegal? Did he pay them off? Was he capable of doing what they did to him, hiring someone to get rid of the threat to us? Judging by my train of thought, my emotions skittering off in a thousand directions and my drumming heart I knew that only the truth would do. “No Christian I need to know.”

He dropped a line of kisses along my jaw, ending with a nip of my earlobe. “You are a stubborn woman Mrs Grey. Okay. Here’s the deal. I’ll give you some details but that’s it. Don’t ever ask me again or for more.” The take-it-or-leave-it note rang clear and, without knowing just how much he would reveal, left me with a difficult decision to make. What if it wasn’t adequate to lay the gnawing worry at rest but I supposed, it was better than being left in the dark entirely.

“Okay.” I breathed my agreement but my heart’s stammer wasn’t easing one bit.

I could almost hear the cogs in his mind grinding out an abridged version before he finally started, “The project that had this Multi-national in a tailspin is a device that would have undermined their income the moment I released it onto the market. Taylor and Barney, by some stroke of genius intelligence work, managed to identify the directors responsible for contracting David. I then approached a major shareholder of the company and offered them the purchase of the patent for the device in exchange for firing the guilty directors. Without jobs and the millions to fund their dirty schemes they are well and truly out of the way.”

Holy shit that’s cheeky…. And brilliant!

“Wow. That’s very clever.” I said soberly, unabashedly awed by his incredible mind but more than that it made me feel so much better.

He pushed himself up on his elbow, leaning over me. His breathless astonishment was endearing and surprising. “Mrs Grey, is that a compliment? Have I managed to win your admiration?”

I giggled but my words were dead serious as I turned my head. We were so close, our noses almost touching. “Always Mr Grey. I’ve always been in awe of you. Thank you for telling me.”

His breath hitched, his gaze searing as it locked into mine. His firm, chaste kiss would’ve bothered me if I didn’t understand that he needed our time tonight to be about reconnecting emotionally after our shared trauma.

Long minutes passed, allowing a peaceful silence to settle over us much like the blanket that was covering us. Just as I drifted Christian whispered into the silence, “I watched you sleeping almost every night.” The desolate image of him, alone at the Fairmont watching us sleep stabbed at my heart, making the ache of our separation acute even though it was only a memory now.

In the circle of his arms I turned my body around, chest to chest and ran the tips of my fingers over the sexy stubble of his angular jaw. “I think I could feel your presence with us, guarding us.” The darkness of my room couldn’t hide his vulnerability, I might not have been able to see it but I could sense it. All I wanted to do was fix it. I knew there was something he wanted to hear from me, something that would wipe the cling of it away but I didn’t know what it was and I didn’t think that he knew either.

The need remained nonetheless and I was determined to fill it. Mentally I went through the things I sometimes needed to hear to shake my ever present insecurities but nothing seemed to fit. How could I show him, if staying through this mess wasn’t enough?

I woke with my mind still turning over the thoughts of Christian’s lack of confidence where I was concerned but I couldn’t ponder it for long. Chris was literally bounding up and down beside our bed at the sight of his sleeping dad. I could see it took everything he had not to shriek his joy. To encourage his silence I placed my finger on my lips then began the process of extricating myself from the vines of Christian’s limbs.

When he tightened his grip around my waist I knew we’d lost him the opportunity to sleep in. The beautiful grey of his clear eyes pinned me the moment they opened. Chris saw me smile down at Christian, it was all the invitation he needed to proceed with his squeal and to jump onto the bed with glee.

The morning passed in a blur and the reality of us returning to Escala and the scene of the sniper attack only really hit me when Brandon opened the rooftop door to let us in. Christian greeted him with a handshake and a slap on the back but I went full tilt and gave him a big, grateful hug.

As if he sensed the tension suddenly rolling off me Christian took my hand and pulled me to his chest while the elevator slid silently to our front door. “It’s all taken care of. You won’t see anything out of place, nothing to remind you.” He whispered his reassurance into my ear.

I nodded against the comforting firmness of his pecs, like him keeping words to a minimum in case Chris overheard. When we entered I was relieved that the dreaded wall of glass was frosted over and of course fixed. At least for the foreseeable future I for one wanted to keep it that way. Other than the memories in my head there was no trace of what transpired that day.

I was surprised to see Gail with Taylor as they made their way to us from the kitchen. I headed straight to Taylor, catching his bewildered look before flinging my arms around his neck – not giving a damn about decorum. “Thank you. Thank you.” I mumbled softly beside his ear while I squeezed the life out of him, my gratitude making me a little over eager.

True to his stoic, reserved nature he patted me on the back, chuckling, “You’re welcome Mrs Grey, glad it all worked out.”

Gail and I both shared a moment, our men were safe and we were back at their sides. Last night Christian had arranged her flight to Seattle now that our threat was a thing of the past. I loved that he was that thoughtful even in the middle of his own winding down crisis.

The light mood, Chris’ joy at being back home and the pinprick of relief I was beginning to feel made our homecoming easier in spite of what made us leave in such haste. That and my husband’s incessant, subtle toying left me feeling way better than I expected to. Last night he promised to make our night of celibacy up to me today and he’d started the moment our day began.

Blazing looks, gently skimming fingertips, brushing lips, whispered promises and the blatant use of his stunning body against mine every moment he could left me with a burning, achy hunger for him that only hours behind a locked door would sate. Briefly I wondered if that locked door would ever again be the one upstairs. I could never complain about Christian in bed, whichever way he chose to take me was spectacular but I missed the kinky fuckery as long as it came without the whips and canes.

I didn’t even bother to go to the spare bedroom I had occupied just short of two weeks ago with a heart full of hope and a contract that echoed our romantic start in so many ways. Instead I headed straight to Christian’s bedroom and found my things exactly where I thought they would be, sharing space with my husband’s. I stood in the large walk-in closet and took a few minutes to soak up the joy I felt might burst through my chest.

I emptied our duffels, mostly in the laundry basket then turned to leave. I don’t know how I didn’t notice it when I came in but at the foot end of our bed was a new piece of furniture – a huge padded ottoman with beautifully carved wooden feet. It was covered in a creamy fabric that looked like suede but was velvety soft. I ran my hand along the surface delighting in how the fine weave changed colour and patterning as I swept across it.

Christian’s husky voice behind me made me jump, “Do you like it Mrs Grey?”

For a second I felt like I got caught doing something naughty but when I clocked his hooded look my flaming face had nothing to do with shame and everything to do with need. I straightened and flicked my hair back over my shoulders. “I do Mr Grey it’s beautiful, very handy.”  Yes, I thought, very handy for piling on that sea of decorative pillows that adorned his bed. I loved the way they looked but I never knew what to do with the damned things when you actually wanted to go to sleep in a bed that looked like it could grace the cover of any interior design magazine.

His brow shot up, quirking with amusement, “It is Mrs Grey, especially the height. Very handy indeed.”

I frowned my confusion, opening my mouth to ask what he meant when Chris called for his dad. Christian left me with a wink and a grin, the only clarification I got as he jogged out to find his son. I looked at the bench, cocking my head to the side as I contemplated what he could’ve been smiling about.

The rest of the day dragged by, treacherously slowly. I called my mom, e-mailed Kate with all the details as well as my neighbours in Savannah with an update and some heavily edited facts. I tried to concentrate on my book and the fresh stack of notes from Julie but my thoughts kept drifting to Christian and how I’d be benefiting from his mad skills in the sack tonight. My body was already humming in anticipation, sensitive to even the slightest of his expert touches.

When Christian insisted on putting Chris to bed by himself I raced to the shower to exfoliate, shave and moisturise. I slipped into a stunning set of black lingerie, low-cut, lacy boy shorts with a matching demi-cup balcony bra that covered my nipples only when I breathed out. If I inhaled my beasts swelled enough to have the areolas peek over the scalloped edge of the cups. Mmhh, I mused, Mr Grey was sure to approve.

I wrapped myself in a flowing silk robe and made use of our plush new bench to lather my legs with a subtly perfumed body lotion. I was sitting on the ottoman, my robe open from the waist down as it pooled around me, some if it spilling over the side. It left my legs exposed with one foot on the floor and the other bent at the knee and resting on the top as I massaged the cream into the length of my leg when I heard him groan behind me.

“What a lovely sight Mrs Grey. I’m liking this purchase more by the minute.” His voice was low and raspy, undeniably sexy as I felt the first trickle of moisture flowing between my legs.

I looked up, smiling but my lids were already heavy, fluttering slowly as the drug of his seduction took effect. I stood up, sashaying up to him, keeping my movements sinuous, graceful. The long robe fell around me, covering my legs but the two panels didn’t meet in the middle, revealing a full-length slash of skin, broken only by flimsy bits of lace.

He hissed through his teeth, his desire changing his expression and bearing so dramatically that it made my knees go weak. I stopped in front of him, looking up at him though the veil of my lashes, waiting, watching, wanting. His hooded gaze grew darker, stormy as he smeared his thumb over my lips. “I think you owe me something Mrs Grey.”

I nodded slowly, swallowing against the heady need drying my throat. I didn’t know what it was that I owed him but there was very little I wasn’t prepared to do for him just then.

His sinful mouth curved with a lazy smirk, “I think some penance is called for.” He ran his index finger lightly down the column of my neck, down my chest, between my breasts until it reached the silk bow at my waist.

Penance? My heart started a steady jog, pumping heated blood to all the places that craved his touch, filling and swelling the tissues that responded to even the sound of his voice.

As if he had all the time in the world and in sharp contrast to the urgent call of my nipples pebbling with the need to be stroked he drew the thin belt away from my body and out of the knot that held it in place. The gap between the two halves of my robe exposed more and more as he pushed first one and then the other side off my shoulders.

Gravity did the rest as it slid down my back, falling at my feet. I lifted a hand to drift over the bulging planes of his fully dressed body just as his hungry eyes were roaming mine but he shook his head, stopping me instantly. My lashes batted in surprise, my heart set off on a full sprint and my lips fell open, my shallow breaths urging the parting.

I knew he wanted me, the outline of the bulge in his trousers impressive as it was distracting. My teeth worried my lip as I wondered what he was up to. On a primal growl he cupped the back of my neck and took my mouth, nipping my lip away from my teeth so he could bite it instead.

To soothe the sting of his attack he laved across my lips, dipping his tongue inside just long enough to shatter my sanity, my body responsive enough to shudder in delight at the inadequate intrusion. “Don’t you think the heart attack you gave me in my own boardroom, surrounded by my most trusted employees deserves some light retribution? You Left me with a very inappropriate hard-on to hide.”

Too late my lust hazed brain registered the sharp angels of his shoulders, the tightly reined power, the hard line of his jaw. My densely packed, rushing hormones came to an abrupt halt when I realised that I was facing my Dom.

Oh my!

My jaw dropped, stunned. From under heavy lids he regarded me, his smile turning wicked. He cupped my chin then shoved his thumb between my parted lips. “Suck,” he mouthed at me. I closed my eyes, hollowing my cheeks around the digit as though it was another appendage I was desperate to wrap my tongue around.

“Good girl,” he rasped, slipping his thumb from the heat of my mouth. “Do you want to play Mrs Grey?”

His words streaked a flood of desire through my veins, easily doubling the pleasure-hormone load from before. My body betrayed me with an excited gasp; I almost bit a chunk out of my lip in anticipation.

He chuckled, reading my answer on my upturned face, “Always so eager Mrs Grey. Shall we see how you’re doing?” playfully he raked the back of his nails gently over my belly, alternating with the tips of his fingers as he slowly, maddeningly travelled south. At the scalloped lace of my boy shorts he dipped his fingers just inside the edge of lace, rimming the panties to tease me.

I flexed my hands, desperate to touch him, hoping the torture wouldn’t be too much. Already my whole being was aching to be filled by him. “I’ve got you, we’ll take it slow,” he whispered, addressing my unspoken fear. Then, in an effort to keep me off balance he shoved his hand over my mound, his middle finger drawing a perfect line down the length of my slit and into the yearning opening. I moaned loudly, my body convulsing at the spectacular pleasure and the sudden pressure of his touch. Again he hissed; sucking in a sharp breath, “Fuck,” he gritted through his clenched jaw. “So wet, so ready.”

A second later he smashed his mouth into mine, cupping my head with both hands to hold me to the violent assault of the stroke of his tongue. When we broke away we were both panting – hard. My body arced towards his, supple and ripe with feminine power in spite of his devastating dominance.

He blinked as if to clear the fog, “As your punishment for opening your sweet self to me during an important business meeting you’re going to make me come first. If you please me you will get your reward. If you don’t I will take you again for my pleasure alone.” His words flowed through me like honey, soaking my panties, making me clench my thighs.

“Take off your bra,” he barked, a new sense of urgency threaded through his command. He watched me slide the scraps away from my breasts, the slate of his gaze so focussed on the twin swells I could feel his stare. His departing grunt made me shiver. I watched his retreating back, wondering when I’ll be rewarded with a glimpse of his fine, sculpted body.

When he returned I heard the first strains of Sade’s Love is Stronger than Pride pulsing softly through the room. Christian was carrying my vanity table’s chair. He placed it in front of me then dimmed the lights to a soft glow before discarding the remote control carelessly onto the bed now that it had served its purpose. I knew for a fact that every current action was intentional, meant to stoke a desire we could both get lost in.

1-08 Love Is Stronger Than Pride

“Sit,” he pointed to the chair and I obliged without hesitation. From his pants pocket he produced a tube of lube that sent a blast of shock though my system. Why would we need lubrication? He flashed me a crooked smile, knowing exactly what I was thinking but he didn’t put my mind at ease. He held it out for me to take and I did, albeit hesitantly. “Remember baby, if you don’t please me there’ll be no pleasure for you.”

I shut off my train of thought, straightening my back and nodded solemnly as I slipped back into character. With large eyes I watched him strip for me. He toed off his shoes and socks then lifted his t-shirt over his head. My eyes were glued to the hard ridges of his abdomen, fascinated by the dexterity of his fingers as they undid his belt and the button fly of his soft jeans.

In an effort to curb the garnering emptiness in my sex I clamped my legs together, hoping for a smidgen of friction to bring relief to the burn that presently felt insatiable. He shook his head at me in warning. Hooking his thumbs into the waistband he dropped the jeans and boxers to the floor before he kicked it away. This time my thigh clench was involuntary as I copped an eyeful of his glorious, straining erection.

“No!” he growled, “Don’t push me baby, I will spank you.” I wanted to voice my innocence, what was a girl to do when she was faced with all that virility but I bit back my words as he parted my legs, pushing them as wide as they would go to step into the space between them. He was hard as stone, throbbing with need as he brushed fire against my belly and breasts every time he adjusted my position on the chair.

When he was satisfied he took the lube from me, “Hold out your hand.” Squirting a big dollop of clear gel into my palm he caught my wide eyed stare, “This is something new baby, just relax but don’t come. Don’t think I don’t know you can tilt your pelvis forward to grind yourself into the chair.” While he was talking to me he took a dollop for himself as well.


Every single neuron I had was firing, my clitoris pulsing in desperation and it didn’t help that Christian was equally turned on. I saw it in the heat of his stare, heard it in the grind of his teeth, felt it on the fevered flush of his skin as it radiated into me.

“Please Christian.” I didn’t know what I was begging for but I was doing it anyway, need obliterating inhibition.

“Soon baby. Take care of me and I’ll make you come so hard your head will spin.” His dirty talk only made me want him more.

“Rub the gel on me baby.” If I thought I was wanton before, stroking the length of his thick rigid erection with slippery, gliding hands took me to a new level altogether. I could see the leash he had on his restraint shortening as his breathing grew ragged. That, along with his big palms, slowly, firmly sweeping across my breasts as he spread the cool gel over and between them was almost my undoing. I didn’t even bother to wonder why he was putting lube on my boobs.

“Are you ready?” he asked, his voice breathless, gravely. I didn’t know and I didn’t care, I was near mindless with the need to get to the place where I got mine – I could only blink my yes. “I’m going to fuck your luscious breasts now Mrs Grey. Push those beauties up and together for me.”

Again I blinked, shocked but did what he said before I got myself into trouble. I palmed the sides of my breasts and pushed them together, eliciting a low groan from him. He bent his knees, fisting the base of his velvety erection and positioned himself between the bottom joint of my breasts. He thrust his hips upward, rocking his molten length between my squashed boobs, the tip of him almost hitting my chin. He drew back only to repeat the rocking motion, his hips pumping into the gap he forged for himself.

Holy fuck that’s so hot!

He bent down, capturing my mouth in a heated kiss as he bracketed my neck with both hands. His thumbs rested on the frantic beat of the pulse at my throat as he licked into the slick, hot cavern of my mouth, proving that I did have to fight the urge to grind my clitoris into the seat below my ass. He broke the kiss to gulp some air. He threw back his head, keeping a hand banded around my neck as he increased the tempo of his thrusts.

I watched him, riveted while he pleasured himself between the dual swells on my chest. If I bent forward I could probably lick the plush crown every time it emerged from the crater I was creating, I wondered if he’d mind if I tried. He nodded at my silent question, his heavy lidded eyes and animalistic grunts the tells of his imminent release. I bent my head over myself to lick his glistening head the second it poked through the crease.

On a violent hiss he swore, “Oh fuck, oh fuck! Yesssss!” he ground out the words, racing to his finish with a severe shudder jolting through his body with enough force to rock me back on the chair. I felt the heat of his semen spurt sharply against my neck and chest, running down my cleavage. I was high on his undoing, revelling in pleasing him so obviously.

Be kind and review, please.

Link to chapter 39

145 thoughts on “Chapter 38

  1. yolanda says:

    once again girl your the best, hands down. alicia keys your on fire. love it


  2. Samara S. says:

    OMG… OMG… OMG… WOW, WOW, WOW!!! I’m so so so loving this!!! It’s not only HOT…. IT’S ON FIRE!!!!


  3. Penny says:

    OMG! OMG! OMG!


  4. Creamy says:

    I so need a Christian in my life lol


  5. Arkeco Thompson says:

    Very hotat the end. I remember in the third book of fsf he promised to make love to her breasts. Great job writing that into the story


  6. Marge says:

    Oh, what a beautiful homecoming!!!!!!! Every man in the world should emulate Christian Grey!!! What a lover!!!!


  7. Kymm says:

    I have no words…wholly $&@?!&$ ish….hot, hot, hot


  8. dblackmon says:

    Great work, this is my second read and I am sure this is new. I would have remembered a breast f..k.. I started reading your blog a few months ago and loved it, I was hesitation about the five year split, but it was worth it. I never commented because I was reading so fast, but I wanted you to know your writing was great and I’m thankful your story was complete, like Christian I hate waiting. In October I will reread FSOG and wait for the movie, in the mean time I will finish your story. Thank you for writing it, and let me know if you write anything of your own.


    • Monique Lain says:

      Hello 🙂 Thank you for your kind words and for taking a chance on my story. The breast f$ck was always included though I am working on a big edit. I have finished the story but still need to ad an epilogue at some point. Glad you’re enjoying it! The movie is exciting stuff 😉 I will certainly let you know if new works 🙂


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