Chapter 45

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Because of the ever growing pack of reporters camping outside our building, and a few very resourceful ones that manages to make it to the ground floor reception desk, Christian declares our Wednesday a work-from-home day. I don’t mind. With a long list of rewrites to do for Julie I’ve got plenty on my plate. Also, this afternoon Chris will be starting his piano lessons, and even though I don’t want to cramp my little boy’s style by hover around him, I’m still desperately keen to see how it goes.

Christian is holed up in his office, his black mood all but leaking from the gap at the bottom of the firmly shut door. Fending calls and e-mails from the steering body of the Commission on Sustainable Development, his press department, and for all I know, the president of the US, we all give his study a wide berth. Taylor is the only one to brave the space that’s practically humming with irritation. By twelve thirty I consider sending him a text invitation to join us for lunch instead of knocking in his door but as the erotic images of the night before flash through my mind I find the courage to go myself.

Forcing my timid knock into something a tad more confident I walk into his office, bright smile pinned in place to hide my nerves. I get the hold-on-a-minute finger as he issues a series of barks to the poor sod in the other end of the line before slamming the receiver down with an angry groan. The second his eyes find mine the steel in his gaze melts, the windows of his soul needy with their call for comfort. The change in his demeanour dramatic as it’s flattering.

“Baby,” he beckons, opening his arms as he pushes himself away from his desk.

My smile goes from uneasy to beaming. All but skipping into his invitation, he laughs when I fling myself into his arms, “We’ve missed you,” I confess, threading my hands through his hair.

Turning his head he nuzzles into my neck, taking a long pull of the scent I know is concentrated there, “Mmmhhh, me too. Did you come to get me for lunch?”

“I did, but I’ll settle for a minute more of this if you’re too busy.” Knowing just how thinly he’s spread I’m not about to add any pressure to his day.

He scrapes his teeth along the edge of my jaw, “Maybe I could do you one better…”

Giggling, I pull away from him, “I’ll take that bet. Show your hand husband.”

He grins, arching a playful brow, “How about I see your cuddle and raise you lunch?”

Dropping my gaze I look at him through my fluttering lashes, “Mr Grey, are you talking poker to me?”

He laughs, a sexy, low throaty laugh, “I guess I am. And maybe I have one for you too,” he purrs. Tilting his hips I feel the press of something suspiciously like a poker beneath the soft swell of my rear.

“Mr Grey!” I squeal on a gasp before feeling the heat sweeping over my cheeks and down my neck.

Chuckling he lifts me to my feet, righting my skirt in the process, “I love scandalising you.” With a quick kiss followed by a sharp slap on my behind he sends me on my way, “Let’s go have some lunch.”

Apart from the line of tension in Christian’s shoulders you would never guess the strain he’s under. He eats with us, chatting and joking just like he always does. I can only admire his ability to compartmentalise his roles. After yet another scrumptious feast that looks like it would shame a nutritionist’s choice, Christian leaves me with the plans for the house on the Sound to pour over. While he and Taylor ensconce themselves in the study, I make notes in the margins of the architectural drawings. The dining room table is the ideal place to spread them out and I’m soon lost in the task as my head swells with ideas. I can already imagine an outside play area for Chris, running around in the meadow, me sitting against a tree reading for him. It will be like a park in our own back yard. Being stuck in a high rise apartment all day is not the best place for a little boy to be.

Christian’s raspy voice makes me jump just as his large hand gently skims the curve of my rear from where I’m bent, leaning over the table, “Mmmhh, maybe I should have you look over all my plans,” he purrs, running the flat of his hand up my spine until he cups the back of my neck.

I smile to myself, holding my pose, enjoying the stirring against my backside, a dead give-away of his scarcely waning interest. “I’d be more than happy to look over any of your plans Mr Grey.”

He growls a low, slow groan, running a single lazy finger down my back. Starting at the nape of my neck, between my shoulder blades, down, down, down he goes, past the waistband of my skirt, sliding it along the valley between the globes of my ass that’s visible as a dip in the fabric of my skirt as it spans over the curves there – my thong offering zero resistance for his mischievous, plunging digit. A shudder fires through me, the tingles converging in my centre, the unexpected intrusion making me jump. Turning around I graze the straining front of his slacks, first with my hip then with my belly as I straighten myself against him. I revel in the gruff catch of his breath in his throat. I rest my hands on the sides of his chest, the heat of him making me warmer that the dreary day outside should allow.

Looking up, into those clear pools of mercury that always shimmers with so many depths I give him a coquettish grin, “It’s nice to see you too Mr Grey, I wasn’t expecting to be graced with your beautiful self so soon.” It’s been two hours since lunch; with his current workload I figured we’d be lucky to see him at dinner time.

At my words his lids grow heavy, weighted, before he rests his forehead against mine, “Tell me you love me.”

“I do. I love you more than life,” I declare on a breath, my hand going up to cup the granite angle of his jaw. My insides twist with unease, his mercurial shift oddly out of place in our day of saucy banter. A few seconds later his need for affirmation becomes clear as Collins escorts the piano teacher into the great room, breaking up our intimate exchange.

Seeing him I get a sinking feeling in the well of my belly. Why Christian thought this was a good idea I don’t know. He looks every inch the young rocker with his dirty-blond hair, a good few inches too long, and artfully styled in that sexy, mussed-up way, the fingers of which falls so that he has to peek through them. His eyes are soulful, green but heavily flecked with grey and brown, giving me the impression that they change colour along with his mood. He’s rocking a designer stubble, no doubt to make him look older than the very early twenties he appears to be in and if offsets a stunningly full mouth that I’m convinced already fuels many teenage girl’s fantasies. He’s tall and lean, built like a runner and wearing a faded t-shirt with jeans that’s seen better days.

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“Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, Matthew Reeves,” he confirms with his introduction. “Mr Reeves is here for Chris’ piano lesson.”

Christian steps forward, rather aggressively, extending a hand to the young man while, with his other arm, he pins me to his side, “Christian Grey and this is my wife, Mrs Grey.” There’s a distinct emphasis on the word wife that only a deaf man could miss and of course, calling me Mrs Grey will be a constant reminder that I’m very much taken. That, coupled with the pointed look he gives the poor guy, it’s no wonder he can hardly mutter a coherent reply.

“Uhm.. Mr Grey,” he shakes Christian proffered hand, darting his eyes nervously between the two of us.

My blush, I’m sure, resembles the same red as wine. It can only end badly if my precious husband stops just short of peeing on me to complete his alpha-male show of possession in front of a guy that, though attractive, does nothing for me. I sense Christian’s interested gaze on my profile, measuring my reaction to Matthew. Sensitive to the situation I offer him a reserved smile and a little finger-wave, but I don’t dare touch him, “Hello Matthew, welcome to our home.”

He looks down, clearly feeling out of his depth. “Mrs Grey,” he greets me with a coy mumble. “It’s Matt, please.” A timid smile plays on his wide mouth before lifting his muddy-green eyes to Christian’s again. “I’m a fan,” he says shyly to him, pinching the front of his t-shirt on either side so the There’s No Planet B logo it bears is visible.

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Christian grins, his cool demeanour defrosting a tad, “Good to know. She needs all the help she can get.” Turning to me he places a tender yet calculated kiss on my lips, lingering long enough to dispel any possible notion that Matt might still harbour about my availability. Smirking he looks at me, thoroughly pleased that he’s made his point, “Will you go get our son?”

I bite back a giggle bubbling up on a whim of incredulousness, all the while fighting the roll that’s been threatening my eyeballs for the last five minutes, “Sure,” I say, way too sweetly before turning on my heel to retrieve – not Chris – but our son. Why he doesn’t just tattoo taken onto my forehead is beyond me. My inner girls are glaring at me, hands on hips, the warning on their pouty lips echoing my own sentiments – it’s obvious I need to keep my distance from the young, hot piano teacher.

Thinking better of watching Christian settle the two of them with the baby grand I retreat to the library leaving the door open so I can at least hear my boy’s first lesson. Christian wishes them well and I assume, takes his leave to continue working, but a scant three minutes later he joins me in the library, laptop in hand. A small part of me can’t help thinking it’s to keep an eye on me.

With a carefully neutral tone and a bland expression to match, he pops a hip against my desk, “What do you think of Matt?”

Caution rings like a bell in my head when I sit back to give him my full attention. “He seems friendly enough. I’m mostly curious to see how he gets along with Chris.”

Christian nods his agreement, choosing to remain still so we can listen to the pair of them. I’m still feeling disconcerted with his choice of teacher, to me it seems like a disaster waiting to happen and I toy with the idea of bringing it up again when he breaks into my thoughts as though he reads them, “I thought it would be good for me. Here, where all the variables are controlled, I might learn to get a better handle on my jealousy.”

A clench curls around my heart, the ache it brings the same one I always feel when I’m faced with the dark shades of his wretched past, triggering a powerful nurturing instinct. Rising I slide my arms around his narrow hips, my features arranged with sincerity, “There’s nothing about you I want to change.”

Eagerly he reciprocates the cuddle, giving me a boyish smile, “I’m happy to hear that Mrs Grey because I think I’m failing miserably.”

With the tip of my finger I trace the full sculpt of his lips, watching the slow path I take, “You have nothing to be jealous of. I am so completely yours, utterly taken by you…”

“But?” he probes gently, hearing my unspoken word.

“I just don’t see the point of deliberately torturing yourself. We have enough to deal with.” To ease any possible sting I switch from fingertip to lips, moulding mine to his with a gentle press.

“Let’s give it some time,” he suggest, his low baritone perfectly pitched for seduction.

His whisper is followed by his head, leaning in to give me more than the soft peck I left him with. Tilting my head I let him take my mouth with a slow kiss that’s almost sleepy, his tongue brushing mine with idle, long laps. With our son yards away I get that, for now, this kiss doesn’t have the potential a private one has, but I luxuriate in it anyway, giving myself over to the drugging oblivion of getting lost in Christian’s warm mouth.

I feel dazed when he finally pulls away, his crooked smile lazy, “I have something to show you.” Motioning for me to sit he moves my PC away to replace it with his own.

Peering at the screen I see a magazine article featuring, amongst others, Julie Logan. By the heading: Women In Publishing: The Stars Of The Editorial Corporate Ladder, I can see it’s great press blurb for Grey Publishing, “That’s wonderful publicity. Which magazine is running the article?” Meeting his intent slate gaze that’s not left my profile since he showed me the spread, I wonder if I’m missing something. I feel the crawl of heat over my cheeks, an uncertain smile tugging at my lips. What’s with his intense stare? The colour in his eyes is almost liquid with wild emotions, seizing my breath from my lungs.

Before I can ask his face splits into a beam, like the rays of the sun, melting my sudden unease. Lowering his mouth to mine he feathers a kiss over my lips, holding me in place by my chin.

“What?” I blurt, almost giggling as I shake my head in a daze.

“It’s in the current issue of Elle Magazine but it’s not a planned plug for GP. Julie was approached by them, I gave her the okay. It was meant to be about her and what it meant for her career to be poached by Grey Publishing but I want you to read her favourite project quote.” With a jut of his chin he guides my look back to the screen. Speed reading through the start I get to the section he’s so keen for me to see:

“..It’s hard to pick just one. I’ve been involved in so many wonderful projects over the span of my career. I’ve been lucky enough to work with a slew of acclaimed authors, and young first-time writers that blew me away, but I’ve never been as excited as I am about the project I’m working on at the moment. Without giving too much away, I’m overseeing a brand new author whose literary interpretation of contemporary romance is going to change the face of it entirely. We’ve already managed to secure a whole series from her so let me say this – watch this space…”

I look to Christian as he’s bent over the back of my chair, his head next to mine, then back at the monitor, blinking. My heart’s race is a little tentative; unsure if a full celebratory sprint is in order yet. Could this mention be about me?

Christian sees the disbelieving question in my stunned expression, “She’s referring to you,” he breathes, tapping me on the tip of my nose with his finger.

“How do you know?” I ask stupidly.

Quirking a brow at me he grins, “Well now. Let me see… Maybe the fact that she has no other female authors on her roster right now; and that I just may have been on the money when I told you what I saw in your work.”

My heart takes off, with full permission from my gorgeous husband and his beatific, smug smile. “I didn’t know she felt that way,” I murmur, still blinking up at Christian with wondrous surprise before realisation tears through me like a claw.

I’ve been through a rebirth, a baptism of fire with Ana 2.0 as testimony as I fought to get Christian back, making a commitment to him, to myself, to our loved ones that I would do better. That, together with my leap of understanding directed by John’s skilled, silver tongue, I grasp that I can take what most people say to me at face value provided I vet the source. It’s a startlingly simple concept, clear, but one my jaded senses blurred with insecurity.

I gasp and laugh, suddenly giddy with insight, “I…, I…, That’s…, It’s…” a thousand words rush into my mouth. Like honey they sit on my tongue, thick and sweet but I can’t seem to pick one so I stand instead, staring at Christian with eyes so wide and bright I must look like a doe.

His answering laugh is as happy as it’s perplexed, “It’s wonderful?” he tries, offering me a fitting phrase.

I find myself nodding, my hands cupped over my mouth, my thoughts zapping through my mind, buzzing with currents of awareness as my brain forges new pathways, making fresh connections.

“I love you,” I finally manage to blurt, completely off topic though it’s still oddly apt.  That part of my heart, until now guarded by fear suddenly springs free, open to accept the kind words of those who care enough to give them freely – like gifts.

Christian senses the shift in me. His eyes, sparkling like silver, is fused in fascination to mine, “I love you too,” his voice a raspy breath as he cups my head in both large hands, still smiling, still frowning.

With inadequate words I try to explain, “I…, I had a moment.”

He chuckles, amused and awed, “Yes, I can see. You look alive with it, glowing.”

His stare doesn’t waver. Drinking me in, one hand slips to bracket my neck, the pad of his thumb resting on the ecstatic jump of my pulse, the other stroking my hair. Captivated I watch what he feels for me change the shade of his eyes. The bright gleam of silver turns to pewter then shifts to the solid weight of lead, the dense metal cramming molecules the way his being is packed tight with love for me. Overjoyed I see it. I see it like I see the light of day.


After dinner and putting an overstimulated toddler to bed Christian leaves me with a kiss on the forehead and a command to not wait up before holing up in his office for late night stretch of work. I refuse to be concerned about it; refuse to second guess his honest words and fall asleep holding onto my newfound confidence like it’s a super power.

Thursday morning I wake up alone, the rumpled sheets on Christian’s side evidence that he at least had some rest. Wandering to the kitchen, I’m drawn by the sound of my little boy’s incessant, happy chatter.

With a hug from behind I kiss his hair where he sits on the edge of the counter, “Good morning buddy.” Over his head I take in the state of the kitchen, my eyes bugging with shock. It looks like Christian set off a bomb of bread and all its possible fillings.

“Mommy, daddy is making me lunch for day care!”

Rounding the counter corner I make for my awfully smug husband, doing my best to supress the gape my jaw wants to drop into, “Wow,” I exclaim over my shoulder, overwhelmed by the mess, “that’s great honey.” Pushing up on my toes I brush a distracted kiss along Christian’s cheek, “Good morning Mr Grey,” I murmur, my voice still rough with sleep. “I take it we’re going to work today?”

He hugs me to him with the crook of his arm to avoid smearing me with his coated fingers, “Yep,” he says, pride glowing in his eyes as they dart from the cutting board to me, willing me to follow.

I clock the Saran wrapped abomination in front of him, coming to the realisation that he’s pleased as punch with his culinary effort. Oh boy! Christian may be supremely skilled in many things but master of the kitchen he is not. It takes every ounce of my willpower not to give in to the snorting giggles threatening to bubble from my belly. The two sides of the sandwich cannot be called slices; rather they resemble very poorly formed bricks. Off to the side are his previous efforts, maybe two loaves worth, and it becomes clear why he chose these particular two. The bread knife, evidently used in the style of a hacksaw lies discarded to one side. Each skew brick of bread sports a loosely hanging top crust where his strong fingers poked through the spongy dough while he held it down to murder it. Through the plastic wrap I can see the filling, peanut butter spread as thick as mortar with gooey purple jelly squishing from the sides like worms. I don’t think Chris’ hands are big enough to hold the thing let alone take a bite from it. How do I tell him that his own day care centre doesn’t allow food to be wrapped in plastic – their small contribution to help our planet, and that it’s a strict nut free zone due to the growing number of allergic children?

“Wow,” I say again, stalling so I can think of a nice way out. By the look on his face he’s expecting high praise for his selfless, parental act. “Thank you. That’s very helpful of you. I should have said something before, there’s no way you could’ve known, but we aren’t allowed to take anything containing peanuts or tree nuts to day care. Too many kids are allergic these days so most schools and day care centres play it safe,” I explain, pressing my lips together in what I hope is a sincere, disappointed face.

“Aaahh!” Chris gasps, “Daddy made a lot of hard work for nofing!”

“Oh,” Christian says, surveying the messy counter like he’s seeing it for the first time. “That’s okay champ, I’ll make you something else.” Picking up a discarded slice of bread he eyes it dubiously, the crust hanging limply from the top.

I’m struck by how sweet he’s being, touched by it really, but I don’t think another unsupervised attempt is on the cards for him. Gail would faint if she sees this mess.

“Buddy, why don’t you go brush your teeth while I help daddy.” I lift him off the counter and he scrambles to the bathroom, informing us that he’ll be back soon.

Next I face my adorable husband, “I’m sorry about your sandwich. I love that you did that for him.” I run my knuckles along his rough jaw, loving the scrape of the perpetual shadow against my skin. “Thank you, you did so well. Do you want to stay and help me make another?”

Mercifully the doubt leaves his eyes just as a grin tugs at the corner of his sinful mouth, “If you can salvage anything from this fiasco I’d like to see it.”

It’s my turn to look smug, accepting his challenge with glee, “Watch and learn Mr Grey.” Knowing how much he hates to waste food I grab hold of the blender, placing it before him with a pile of his bread bricks, “Break these up into chucks then blitz them in the blender. It’s always good to have crumbs and they freeze very well.”

“Crumbs?” a quizzical eyebrow arcs with scepticism.

“You know, for coating things like fish or chicken.” Taking the thickest of his slices, I carefully run the breadknife through its sides to divide it into three normal slices.

I can tell by his rapt attention that he’s impressed. I explain every step as I go, just casually enough to let him think I’m only making conversation: butter first to lock in moisture, something dry against the inside of the slices to prevent the bread from getting soggy and the wet stuff in the middle. Once I place the second slice on top I trim the edges then slice it into four triangles, just like Chris likes it. Lastly I wrap it in waxed paper, showing him how to fold the middle and sides with sharp corners. I add sliced apple and craisins to his lunchbox, each item going into a separate little compartment along with a small water bottle.

“Voila!” Smiling I hold out the cartooned lunchbox for him to admire.

“Clever Mrs Grey,” he says, his voice hitching with a catch he plays off with a wink.

I bask in his obvious appreciation, gifting him with a full beam and delighted with myself that I can accept the compliment he so earnestly gives.


Apart from battling reporters on our way out of Escala and around Grey House my day is calm and wonderfully productive under Julie’s expert tutelage. I’m pleasantly surprised with some of Derek’s ideas, especially considering that romantic fiction is probably not his first choice in literature. I also get to know him on a slightly more personal level as the dark haired assistant shares some of his funnier, love-life woes with me. An hour after lunch Chris and I head home for his piano lesson.

We find Gail in the kitchen, and while she rustles up a snack for Chris, I regale her with Christian’s kitchen shenanigans, both of us going over all gooey over Christian’s efforts to be a normal dad.

When Matt arrives I make myself scarce, mindful of keeping myself from the trouble that sometimes seems to follow me regardless of how hard I try to avoid it. Instead I finish a few more chapters while I listen to Chris’ tentatively tapping at the ivory keys under Matt’s patient instruction.

The moment Christian steps into the foyer Chris rushes into his arms with chatty tales about his day. I get a meaning full look, the salacious promise it holds for later sending a reviving charge though my body when he drops a kiss on my lips. We share dinner before Christian takes Chris for his bath and I grab a shower myself.

While I wait for Christian I draw myself a cup of Chamomile tea and settle on the couch with music and a book. The random song the iPod picks is beautiful, Lights by Ellie Goulding, and fits my mood perfectly.

Bright Lights (Deluxe Edition)

Even Christian’s gait drips of sin when he comes to join me, more prowling than walking he watches me with weighted lids and darkened eyes that say everything about his intentions. In a matter of seconds the space between us fills with a coiled charge, taut and volatile with sexual potential. I feel his stare on me like a velvet rake, my blood heating, rushing to the surface of my skin, pooling in places where I become needy for his touch.

“Two days,” he all but growls as he holds out a hand for me to take.

Obliging I let him pull me off the couch, right up against the hard press of his muscled chest. Without volition my hands skate up his front, slipping into the satiny strands of his hair. Blinking I fight to keep my breath even, the short, choppy rasps of my lungs only serving to heighten my senses as my puckering nipples get teased by the crush of our embrace. Instinctively I lift my head, giving him access to the soft flesh of my neck. Greedily he takes advantage, biting, licking, sucking a hot, snaking trail to my chest.

On my shoulder he plucks the thin strap of my ankle-length, silk slip off my shoulder with his teeth, “I like you in silk baby,” he confesses with a gravelly voice before swirling his wet tongue in the hollow of my collar bone.

Pleasured noises I can’t control spill from my throat when he cups my rear, grinding the apex of my thighs onto his tight quad. He answers me with a rumbling groan when he pulls away enough to feast his hungry gaze on my exposed breast, “I can’t wait to suck the milk from your swollen breasts.”

My lids flutter, tantalising shivers chase desire on a zip line to my sex, filling, swelling, whetting.

“Come,” he commands thickly, not that I have a choice when he lifts me into his arms to carry me to the haven of our bedroom.

With a kick he closes the door before laying me onto the bed with a gentleness that belies the animal need I see in his hooded stare. Straightening again he takes a moment, adjusting the lighting to a soft glow and selecting a playlist from the iPod dock. The sensual beat of David Usher’s Black, Black Heart pulses in time with the pound of my heart.

Morning Orbit

Slowly, with raw need plain in his eyes and the severe strain of his erection against the front of his pants he unrolls the sleeves of his crisp, white, button down shirt. His gaze never leaves mine, his lids half-mast with want as he lazily pops the buttons hiding his cut chest.

Watching him strip for me is a powerful visual, all-consuming in its teasing intensity. On the bed I squirm, wantonly rubbing my thighs together, my teeth raking my lip in an unsatisfying effort to emulate Christian’s drugging kisses.  Near mindless with the absence of his hands on me my own start to roam, hungry to drag him along the same erotic path he’s chosen for me. I brush my hand across my chest, slipping the remaining strap off my shoulder to show him the twin tight peak of my other breast. I get a delicious reward when his graceful strip speeds up a notch, starting with his belt. Emboldened by his approving purr, I glide my hand over the curve of my breast, ducking it below the edge of my slip, down my belly where a rhythmic clench has already started. The silk moulds nicely to my hand, daringly revealing my bare body as I go. Like I’ve been struck by a jolt I arc off the bed in a perfect bow when my touch connects with the wet folds poking from between the puckered lips of my sex.

Christian is on me in a flash, his naked form hard and beautiful in the soft light as one hand secures my wrists above my head while the other wrenches the slip down my legs with an irritated tug. “Mine,” he growls gruffly before sealing his starved mouth over mine, kissing me with violent licks.

“So fucking beautiful,” he groans into my mouth while his free hand roughly paws at my breasts.

My breaths are almost shuddering, anticipation making it impossible to draw a proper one. I mewl at Christian when he ends our kiss, my body jonesing for more. His length, thick and hard like granite, burns into my hip, and is well out of my desperate reach.

“Please Christian,” I beg, my voice a throaty rasp, hardly recognisable.

I barely register his expression, pinched with lust like my own before he looks down my body, “Are you wet for me baby?”

“Yes, yes. So very wet,” I confirm, lifting my head to see the moisture copious enough to coat my thighs.

A primal sound escapes from his chest when he sinks a finger two-knuckles deep onto my tight sheath. I hear him hiss, plunging into my channel with a luscious rhythm before extracting the digit. Breathless I scowl at him, watching as repeats the strange thing he did the other night. He rubs his glistening finger against another then gently pulls them apart as if to test the texture of my cream.

What the… I wonder when his head swings back to meet my lust filled gaze, “You’re fertile,” he declares, his voice so rough with desire he grits out the words. A change overcomes him, hard and brutal, something almost akin to possession. His nostrils flare, his eyes flash, sparking with the overpowering instinct to mate as he flips me over like I’m a rag doll. Dragging up my hips he fills me with a swift and sharp pierce, the force tearing a guttural sound from us both. Grabbing a fistful of hair at my nape, he pulls me up to meet his demanding mouth, my head turning, my body arching into an S to accommodate his needs. He pounds himself into me, the restraint he usually shows diminished by an urge as primal as it’s desperate. His free hand finds the sodden petals of my sex, halting my breath as I rush to the edge of release in a scant second.

“Not yet baby,” he orders, slowing his touch to help me recover but I hover, mere inches away from a detonation of nuclear proportions.

Even the slap on his heavy sack against my swollen lips propel me closer, a tremble starting to ripple out form my core just as Christian comes with a mighty growl, his muscle roped body shuddering against mine. I can’t wait for the words that always send me into the ether of blinding pleasure, his jaw is still locked in an ecstatic grimace but his fingers take me there, thrumming me into an almighty explosion.

He collapses onto me, his sweat slicked body covering my limp from like a blanket as we fight to regain control of our ragged breaths. The current tune helps to bring us down from our erotic high as James Blunt croons gently about being beautiful.

Back To Bedlam

Having regained a bit of composure Christian rains fluttering kisses all over the side of my face, “I’m sorry baby,” he apologises, his voice thick, caught with remorse, “I was rough with you. I got carried away, the thought of knowingly planting the life of our child in you…”I feel rather than see him shake his head, overwhelmed.

I swallow; my throat dry and my thoughts still thoroughly scattered, “Please don’t apologise,” I say past the cotton in my mouth. “That was scorching hot…”

He chuckles, relieved, “I’m glad you think so, I could feel how hard you came and now you look beautiful, thoroughly fucked Mrs Grey.”

“I feel it Mr Grey but I don’t think you did too badly yourself,” I tease, remembering his feral heat, his lusty expression.

He sobers, rubbing his cheek against mine, “That was the single most intense experience of my life. Thank you Anastasia.” His gruff tone is loaded with the weight of his sentiment, infinitely touching.

“You’re welcome.” I understand only too well the profound nature of what we just shared – maybe making another human life that’s indelibly bound to you, genetically and otherwise.

We lie like this for a couple more minutes before he rolls off me, and I roll onto my back. I can sense that Christian is still reeling, his behaviour even more possessive than usual as he scoots me closer to him, fitting my jellied body into his arm. When I feel strong enough to stand my parched mouth moves me to get a glass of water.

Instantly he tightens his hold around my shoulders, “Hey, where are you going?”

Lifting my head I find his gaze troubled, “I’m okay, I’m just thirsty. I need some water.”

Extracting his arm from under my head he gets up, “I’ll get it. Don’t go anywhere,” he gives me a pointed look, waiting for me to reply.

Where would I go? I wonder before I answer him, “Okay,” I agree easily enough but I can’t help being curious about his mood.

When he returns with the water he doesn’t even let me sit up. Instead he holds the glass for me while he supports my neck with a firm grip. Oh boy, I worry’ hopefully he’s not going to treat me like a fragile, glass doll when I get pregnant.

He hops back into bed, turning on his side to face me. He pulls me onto his outstretched arm so I lay on my back, his bicep my pillow. Drawing his legs up into the foetal position he forces me to bend my knees so my legs go over his before he pulls the covers up.

“Sweet dreams,” his quiet whisper tickles the shell of my ear. Turning away briefly he flicks the light switch, plunging us into the peaceful darkness.


On Friday morning, for a change, I wake up still wrapped in Christian’s arm but he’s awake, staring at me with a dopey smile on his stunning face.

Pushing my arms up I stretch, my achy muscles protesting slightly, “Morning Mr Grey.”

“I missed you,” he whispers, his gaze soft with love.

Turning towards him I stroke his cheek, “I’m right here,” I reassure him with a copy of his happy smile.

Just then Chris burst through the door, “Daddy, Why are you still sleeping? Where is my morning story?”

We laugh, content in our morning routine with our son. “Hey champ, go get your book then we’ll read it to mommy in bed.”

Chris’ eyes brighten, his smile wide before he scampers from the room at his usual hundred-miles-a-minute, active toddler pace while we take a minute to pull on some pj’s.

We have a story, we have breakfast then Chris shows Christian what he’s learnt on the piano so far. Feeling utterly lazy I decide to work from home, have a pyjama day before the excitement of the weekend and catching up with Kate and Elliot.

Christian seems pleased with my decision when he leaves a short while later for a meeting at his office. For a while I wander around the apartment, doing this and that but not really getting focussed enough to work. My mind keeps drifting, returning to Julie’s article in Elle Magazine. On a whim I head to Christian’s office, intent on sending the link to myself so I can remind myself of my surprise ah-ha moment. Idly I scroll through my husband’s internet search history, looking for the site. I frown to myself when the word baby pops up on site after site on the list. Randomly I pick one, clicking on the Fifteen Top Tips To Make A Baby link to see what he’s been researching so fervently.

Suddenly all sorts of phrases jump out at me as I slowly begin to puzzle together my husband’s unusual behaviour of late…

Lifting your behind to aid gravity after sex when you’re trying to conceive – Christian using his folded legs to get my knees up.

Missionary and doggie style, best positions for conception – Last night’s position certainly fell in this category.

Not getting up after intercourse for at least twenty minutes – This is why Christian was so anxious for me to stay in bed, flat on my back.

Having an orgasm after the male to help the uterus bring the sperm closer – Christian coming slightly ahead of me.

Men wearing boxer shorts, or even going commando to keep their sperm cool – I giggle, wondering if that’s why he didn’t take his vomit splattered pants off in front of Gail.

Having sex only every other day, and then only once – Here I was worried my husband had lost interest in me, but he used his cunning sexpertise I realise thinking about the night where he all but attacked me with his mouth, wringing two successive orgasms out of me so I would be too exhausted to question why we weren’t having actual sex. And then last night, staying in his office, working instead of slipping into bed with me.

Healthy eating tips for optimal conception, the importance of pre-natal vitamins and exercise during conception and pregnancy.

Cervical mucus, how to determine your fertile days – This is positively cringe worthy! Christian checking the consistency of my mucus between his fingers? I didn’t even know I had mucus down there!

Because Chris was conceived by accident I’ve never really given the process of conception much thought. I should have known Christian would prepare for baby-making like he does everything else: totally, wholly and completely!

Be kind and review, please.

Link to chapter 46

122 thoughts on “Chapter 45

  1. Sheila says:

    What can I say but another great chapter which I really enjoyed reading. It was all romantic and lovely. As for Matt, well he had better behave or Christian will be giving him his marching orders. Thanks again Monique.


  2. Linda says:

    I think Christian’s interest in ‘making’ the baby is hysterical since he obviously did nothing to prepare for Chris and Chris is a wonderful child! Can’t wait to see where you take this, Monique. Thank you.


  3. gmbizette says:

    Sasha … So Christian got it down to a science on conception !!! Love it!!! Fabulous chapter as always! I love your writing and your story.
    Love possessive Christian with the piano instructor ….


  4. Marion Evans says:

    I so Love this and dont want it to end so please keep writing xxx


  5. patricia says:

    I love reading about Christian and Anna keep it going, can’t wait for the next chapter. Hurry up Friday.


  6. Janien Meissner says:

    O, this was so good! I really enjoy this familymoments. Very funny how Christian is preparing everything. So predictable! And so sweet. It gives me ‘kippenvel’ to read it! ( try to translate it Monique) I do love your story so much! O, and Monique, on Tuesday i am travelling to Spain!
    ( Fuerteventura) i will be looking for this hot cop of yours. Xx Janien


    • Monique Lain says:

      Aaah, Janien, too easy kip as in kiep chicken, vel as in skin! goose flesh/bumps! Afrikaans is my first language, extremely similar to Dutch! In Afrikaans we say hoendervel. Love that you get all shivery! You lucky thing! I’m jealous. If you find the cop tell him where he can find us! Have a great time and if you don’t find that cop but see others like him, take some photos!


  7. Amy says:

    Wonderful Monique!!! What a nice surprise during my busy work day! My week is now complete!! can’t wait for next week!! 🙂


  8. caroline miller says:

    sooo looking forward to next Friday 🙂 another great chapter..


  9. Jenny says:

    Love .. LOVE this chapter !!! There is nothing more powerful that conceiving a baby with the love of your life !!! Just amazing !!


  10. Valerie says:

    Very nice Monique! I love Christian’s obsessiveness with trying to get Ana pregnant…too funny! Looking forward to nest week with Kate and Elliot!


  11. Pielietje says:

    Thank you for another great chapter!
    I love it that Christian does research about how to get Ana pregnant.


  12. Andrea (Andrea Fanfiction) says:

    This was awesome!!!!!!!! I had to laugh when CG tested her mucos, then insisted she didn’t get up….I knew he had been reading. LOL Though the very thought of him saying she was fertile was mind blowingly hot!!! How crazy is that?! LOL They are so very sweet!!! I know she got pregnant so easily, too easy actually, with Chris & how on it CG is about doing everything right. I just hope there isn’t any seconday infertility issues coming their way…..but it would make for a good story line. CG not in control….one of his least favorite things.

    Can hardly wait til the next chapter!



    • Monique Lain says:

      Thank you Andrea, love the feedback. Yes, I’m in two minds about it – reward his “diligence” or seriously agitate his control issues by dragging it out… 😉 I agree with you about the fertility hotness, just something about it that’s so… caveman primal! Grrrr! 😉


  13. Katherine says:

    Fabulous writing as usual. So much I want to say about this chapter.
    Christians interaction with the (very sexy) music teacher was funny, they both still have so many insecurities when it comes to each other.
    Making lunch for Chris was precious, I love the relationship they have.
    As usual the sex was hot and you always pick the perfect music for ever chapter.
    Last but not least, cervical mucus?! I was wondering what he was doing with that little action lol mortified 😉 He really is determined to get her pregnant.
    Thanks for this once again and can’t wait to see what delights you have for us next week


    • Monique Lain says:

      LOL! Yep, he said he was going to nail it, the gauntlet is down and CG takes it up like only he can! He’s never been one to squirm away from what mortifies Ana, in fact he thrives on intimacies that would anyone else blush every shade of red! So glad you enjoyed it and the music, as always I appreciate the feedback! 😉


  14. Heather B. says:

    I love this story so much! The last part was lovingly hysterical and so very true to the Christian character.


  15. Donna V says:

    Christian trying to make Chris’s lunch and there morning stories is great! The research is too funny!!


  16. Jane Jones says:

    Wow what another great chapter


  17. Ann says:

    Hysterically funny was the “lunch sandwich” making. Exactly what Christian would do…a whole loaf of bread to get “one perfect” sandwich!! And reading about the conception and his efforts is priceless!! But reallyour writing is showing us a very “deep, loving” part of Christian that he never thought existed and Ana also “not being perfect” adds to the story as she also learns about her own demons, so to speak. You make Friday for me and it looks like a whole lota others… this story is fantastic please keep going. If you published it I’d wait in line to get it!! I agree…hurry up Friday!!! I tell my friends that Friday is my “MAC” time… Monique, Ana & Christian. LOL 😉


    • Monique Lain says:

      Ah Ann, I can tell you your review made me swallow some tears. I was up till 3:30am on Friday night/Sat morning finishing this chapter, and I’ve never been one to sleep late so after struggling to fall asleep, even though I was exhausted, I got maybe 3 hours sleep. I was feeling a little blue, thinking why the hell do I do this to myself until I read your review. It reminded me exactly why, so from me to you: THANK YOU! Love that you enjoyed it, love that you see all the little stories going on within the story! You made my day. 😀 Ps; love the acronym! 😉


  18. Deanna says:

    Looking forward to more “commando” Christian 😉


  19. Deb says:

    Planting the life of our child in you…….
    You know, Mo…..I adore you, love this story, love Christian and Ana….
    I just have no words….you have taken them all and used them so well…there are none left!
    This just keeps getting better and better…….


  20. Moire says:

    mmmhhh ………… interesting re the music teacher ! and such research ~ but we should not be surprised ~ it is Christian after all – He is so YUMMY , Can we send our men to “Christian” school ~ or how to make your OH feel sooooooooo special LOL 😉


    • Monique Lain says:

      Moire, I think that’s an excellent idea! GC school for clueless men! I’ll be posting something in the week with a similar thread, sexologists saying that if men want to be more successful in love and life the should be more like CG! Thank you for the feedback! 😉


  21. Donnie says:

    This chapter was fantastic! Christian is such a great dad – your story is so real – I can picture everything in my mind as I read. Can’t wait for the next chapter.


  22. Melissa says:

    Another wonderful chapter!! I love how you write “family man” Christian, but hot, sexy Christian, which you do like no other, is still my favorite!!! Keep it coming!!!


  23. SusanW says:

    It dawned on me as I read this chapter that Christian’s and Ana’s insecurities are really not that different. They’ve arisen from different places and events in their childhoods, but they’ve led each of them to the point of needing to be reassured of the other’s love. Christian hides his insecurity under bluster, and Ana worries and assumes the worst, but they’re really just both wanting to know that they’re loved. And when Ana got to “I see it like I see the light of day” — well, that’s when the waterworks started for me. Lovely, Monique — thank you.


    • Monique Lain says:

      Love that you saw that Susan and isn’t it what we all need and want? To simply feel loved. Such a powerful thing but it can be so elusive and such a pity that you might actually have it but not see it. Loved that the chapter touched you, I hope there was some laughs in it for you too… Thank you for the mucus advice! 🙂


  24. Mrs. G says:

    Excellent chapter, Monique! I loved the sweet simplicity of it – family time, playful banter, Christian’s pride in Ana’s accomplishments, and let’s not forget the love making!! All of that wrapped up in a neat little package! My favorite part is when Ana begins to touch herself as Christian is undressing. It shows how confident she is becoming in Christian’s true love and attraction to her and her own sexual confidence and maturity. Loved that scene! And if that makes a baby…it can’t get any better than that!!


  25. Maggie says:

    I shall easily ‘ditto’ Mrs. G’s comment above….completely!! Devin Paisley’s pic – yikes! I may need to go back for more piano lessons 😉 Might he be a CG contender for the movie? He’s definitely got the look but not sure about the acting piece…oh well, not up to us anyways…Fabulous, as ever, Monique 🙂 There’s a lot going on in the story line right now, can’t wait to see where 46 takes us!


    • Monique Lain says:

      Thank you Maggie. LOL, I was thinking the same thing about the story line, hope I’m not going to tie myself in a knot! I know where I want to end up but the journey is as much a surprise to me as it is to you! Devin might be a contender, everyone else seems to be, it seems unfair to leave him out! LOL! 😉


  26. aulbrey says:

    Love the chapter, cant wait for the next! Love how kinky Christian is getting about the pregnancy! Also , thanks for the top 8 poll! What a great idea:)


  27. Andrea says:

    Is it possible to fall in love with Christian more and more?? Hope so cuz I do!! He is so sweet…and this should be Ana’s warning that this is only the start of his uber controlling baby ways 🙂

    Can’t wait for next week!


  28. CG obsessed says:

    “How about I see your cuddle and raise you a lunch” That is so cute! I love how CG and Ana are so playful and increasingly more relaxed and sure of each other now. You’ve evolved the characters so wonderfully! CANT WAIT for the next chapters! Couldnt put it down and have even started re-reading just for more CG…There were so many parts i just cried so much it was so heart wrenching or had the biggest giddy smile for CG or Ana and had to remind myself these were fictional people! LOL I just love the way CG is so thorough in caring for his loved ones and the whole making baby process.
    ThankYou Monique for this and these FSOG continuance, so well written…i am totally captivated by your writings and this amazing love story….Awesome, wonderful, well written!


    • Monique Lain says:

      Thank you so much, that’s an awesome thing for me to hear. I feel you about finding it hard to separate them from reality, they do seem so real. Love that you love it, I appreciate you taking the time to share your views with me 😉


      • CG obsessed says:

        How nice to get a response! Please dont let it keep you from your next chapters LOL! I am so wrapped up in “their life” i just cant wait to find time alone just to read, re-read and now i found Meander shorts, TY…its all i look forward daily to, LOL since i found this site last week! In fact, all other life activities are done begrudgingly as it takes me away from “them” haha, but somehow, just thinking of “them” gives me secret smiles…and i think of CG’s secret smiles and giggle. I have never, never, loved a story line/book as much as FSOG and your writings is just so right on with the original theme…the developments just deliciously tantalizing and creative…if they do the movie series, i hope your chapters are filmed! I love the way you included FSOG book series into the story when Ana suggested CG to “come out” of the BDSM closet…that was brilliant and so cute. It would be good if Ana was the one writing a book series about it too…anonymously ofcourse from CG standpoint because no one can help but fall in love with him….and whenever i read his CPOV, I wish there was more! Thank you Monique. Please, please dont stop!


        • CG obsessed says:

          BTW, did I miss reading when they removed the IUD to start making a baby? OR is Christian so virile even an IUD would not stop his swimmers? Am trying to find the chapter that might have explained…


          • Monique Lain says:

            When Ana went to stay at Ray’s after CG got shot she got sick the next day and he sent a doctor to come and see her. In that chapter Ana asks the doc for a favour but I don’t say what it is… The chapter where she returns to Escala, the first night they’re back together. she tells him that she had the IUD removed. That’s why he’c counting down at the moment, he’s counting the days until she ovulates…


        • Monique Lain says:

          LOL! I’ll try my best! 🙂 I reply to all my comments, it’s one of the biggest reasons I have the blog, to chat with you guys and to get the feedback, it helps me develop, so thank you for yours. If you don’t mind sharing, how did you find me? I so get what you mean, it took me soooo long to get over their story (not that I’ll ever be entirely over them) but at least to try and read something else. I lost count at 8 times re reading FSOG! I’m so happy you enjoy sharing your obsession with us… 😉 We are all a little FSOG mad 😉 Maybe you could tell??


          • CG obsessed says:

            I found this site when I typed in my browser fifty shades of grey and was looking for info about a movie potential and who might play CG or Ana…and saw a site about FSOG fan fiction and was amazed that there were more story lines about FSOG. Wow that made my day! I clicked on to yours because it stated same Ana, same Christian and especially because it said full length book (man was i excited and Monique, i was sure it was E L James continuing, it was so right on) and i was so thrilled to get more FSOG. At first i was rather upset that she “left” and didnt tell him of her pregnancy…but was able to read with your promise that it was temporary and that they would be back together and indeed i was not disappointed at all. Thank You! Though five years was sooooooo long…but again, it proves how lasting their love truly was…so sweet. Loved the celibacies factors from both, man 2.5 years for him, that was amazingly cool…
            Jeez I was sooooooo happy when he first laid eyes on her again at the zoo! Thank you for setting it up right away like that. I feel like i found a pot of gold to have found this site. Then i was so impressed at how well you write in perfect sync (even better, lol) to the original story…Yes!
            Really looking forward to the result of his “seed planting”…outcomes, so adorable CG’s actions, LOL. Though after reading the Christmas and Valentines meander shorts…with no mention of it I’m sort of wondering what outcome surprises you have in stored for us impatient and drooling fans…LOL. I so want CG to have the whole experience of fatherhood…though it will be interesting to see if any of his painful childhood baggage before the Grey adoption will manifest since sometimes we unknowingly mimic how we were treated…
            He has no problems with Chris because it is the same age as when he was adopted and was loved, treated tenderly and cared for…put prior to that age…hmmm
            FSOG trilogy is the first of this type of romance books i have ever read and now i see there are lots more of this sorts but seriously, not sure how another could top this sweet romance story line… I read FSOG a few times and and thought i was crazy to get so hung up on the characters… we are talking just over these last few weeks as i just decided to see what all the FSOG fuss was about….and find myself giddy and so hooked i feel guilty and probably blushing like Ana to like it so much…but who wouldn’t at the thought of a dream man like CG? though at first i hated, disgusted his mean Dom punishing ways…but he evolved, changed…thank goodness yet still so like able in the way he was so tender after any of the punishments and kinkiness….haha you see by my long response how I’m totally hooked still? LOL.
            Again, thanks for responding and your continuing writings. Super awesome treat! Drooling for the next chapters….Please Monique..LOL.


            • Monique Lain says:

              I’m so glad you took a chance on my story, thank you. It’s one of my biggest problems with readers, they read the preamble and run, their hearts breaking (understandably) and don’t give it a go. Without the heartache though there is no story… 😉 LOL on the seed planting outcomes… Interesting point you make about his pre adoption years, food for thought. It was my first foray into the genre as well, not romance but erotic romance, in fact I didn’t even know exactly what I was getting into when I first bought it. It took me a very long time to even consider trying to read something else, I just couldn’t get over how it gripped me, and for an avid reader, I was beginning to get worried that I might never find something else to read. Finally I started writing Meander as a way to purge my “obsession” with FSOG… Since then I’ve found a whole new hobby and some exceptional reads to share here on the blog in our book club. I can’t tell you how great it is to write to an appreciative audience… Thank you! 😉


  29. Kym Thomas says:

    Awesome, Im so glad l only found this site 4 or 5 days ago, so l could just read & read & read every chapter straight away ,being totally caught up in their story instead of having to wait for your next Chapter, but now due to the absolutely fantastic writing l could not put this down, due to being totally addicted and caught up in the story line. I have been leaving all the mundane day to day duties to be done at a later date, even at work reading on my phone on my breaks, and now l have to wait!….☹ this is going to be difficult no pressure or anything but l hoping your next chapter will be coming a long in the very near future lol as l think l’ll have to start reading it all over again. To be quiet honest l think l’m enjoying this more the 50 shades trilogy. Wow thats saying something l read them 4 or 5 times. Thank you for my little addiction its great getting lost in their world.


    • Monique Lain says:

      LOL! That’s nice, to have a whole bunch to read in one go! Lucky you! I have readers who has been with me from the start, just shy of a year now, they had to wait for every one! 😉 At least I have some short stories in the sidebar to keep you busy until the weekend which is when I usually update. Thank you so much for your stunning compliment, I so appreciate the feedback! You are so welcome and in good company here, we all like to get a little lost in CG… 😉


  30. CoCoKins_ says:

    As an aspiring author myself, I must say that this is the single most intense and interesting read I have stumbled across in a long time. You are absolutely amazing. I was hoping I would get more of CG POV but what you have done is absolutely spectacular. I loved loved loved it. I cannot wait for the next chapter. You have done an amazing job.


  31. elena says:

    Can u PLEASE post a new chapter before Friday because I can’t wait to read how exited Christian gets when Ana gets pregnant or when ana finally sees Kate again.PLEASE PLEASE POST A NEW CHAPTER BEFORE FRIDAY I WILL LITERALLY BE YOUR SLAVE FOREVER!!!!!


    • Monique Lain says:

      LOL! Elena, I would like nothing more to stay at home and write full time and I would LOOOOVVVEEE to have a slave, I can tell you it would free up a lot of my time… 😉 Unfortunately it takes a every second of my free time to get a chapter done per week, only reading for about half hour, late every night to wind down from writing. Sorry babe! 😉 I wish I had a stash that I could just post at will… 😉


  32. Angelique says:

    I wasn’t sure about all of the twist and turns when I began reading your fanfiction but I am a convert. I love it! Thank you for writing, you have done a wonderful job. Thank you for allowing me an escape, an oasis to forget about my own problems. I found your site over the weekend and blazed through it. I can’t wait for the new chapter!! Keep up the good work!


    • Monique Lain says:

      Hi Angelique, thank you so much for taking a chance on a story line I know is hard to swallow initially. If you don’t mind giving me some feedback, did the reader comments do it for you? What made you stay? I still have this issue of readers turning form the site because of the start. I’m thrilled you enjoyed it. There are some one shots in the sidebar for in case you didn’t know, more Ana and Chrisitian the way we love them… I’m so happy to offer you something in a time where you obviously feel you need it. 😉


      • Angelique says:

        Honestly the thing that made me stay was my morbid curiosity. 😉
        I’m a Journalist by trade and I’m always hungry for more information and creativity. So I figured why not stick it out and continue reading it? And once I kept reading I was hooked! Plus I liked your preface at the beginning saying I know it’s hard the way I’m going… (I don’t recall it word for word but that helped encourage me to keep reading). I’m so glad that stuck with it.
        I love anything FSOG that I can get my hands on, that delves beyond the Trilogy. Also your detailed and very good writing also drew me in. I am reading the one shots now, I’m not sure how I missed them. I wish I had a CG that’s for sure. It’s a beautiful love story and you made it clear that their love never did die. Keep up the good work! I am enjoying every minute of it and re-reading until the new chapter. I’m not sure my answer helped. But that is what sucked me in. Great Job!
        P.S. Thank you also for keeping the theme going that women do deserve the very best man for them! And that they deserve a love story, and a relationship that works as a partnership side by side. Thank You!


        • Monique Lain says:

          You did help me, thank you! I appreciate the feedback. It’s proven quite difficult to overcome, I know once they get into it they’ll find the characters they fell in love with but to get them there… 😉 The one shots are fun reads I think, at least it gives you hope for them… Regarding your PS, you’re welcome and I honestly believe it. That women deserve their very own CG to love and cherish them… 😉


  33. skinsavant says:

    aiming to please us? that you always do! every chapter is fantastic, beautiful and incredibly written!

    i truly enjoyed christian and chris moments. i could feel the love and joy from father and son. the playful banter between christian and ana was adorable. christian in spite of his insecurities proved to be an amazing father and husband…his possessiveness of ana when meeting the young stud piano teacher was quite amusing. i would never get tired of his jealousy and dominant personality. doing his internet research on making babies? well that’s classic christian grey. how else was he able to become a multi-billionaire at such a young age and continue to be successful? when he’s on a mission, he’s determined to achieve it and christian grey always gets what he wants! oh how i love him so!!! =D


    • Monique Lain says:

      LOL! He did say that he’d nail it! I so love your comment and feedback, thank you so much for the details. I appreciate it! I’m with you on jealous Christian, he just wouldn’t be the same without it!


  34. Hazel (South Africa) says:

    Hi Monique hope you well, I have just read this whole story over again from chapter 1. And like the first time I balled my eyes out again. Thank you for the attention to detail you put into your work this is truly prize winning writing I love, love this story and the way you write it. Are you going to re-write from chapter 2 onwards as you did with Chapter 1? Hate it that I caught up now I have to wait again..☹☹☹ Lotsa love


    • Monique Lain says:

      Hi Hazel, yes I am I just need the time to do it, I have some demanding readers here on the blog that expect a fresh chapter each week… LOL! 😉 So glad you enjoyed it the second time around. Can you believe that in the year I’ve been writing this story I’ve written 257 915 words, that for the industry standard for the genre is equivalent to 5 books? That excludes the one-shots! And in my spare time… 😉 How crazy is that? Good to hear from you!


  35. 1klkelly says:

    I’m surprised he didn’t have her stand on her head after coitus. LOL


  36. Olivia says:

    Love love love your work whole heartedly I wanted to know about there after time. This explains it all!! I read all your chapters in 3 days! Can’t wait for the next one!!! 🙂


  37. Bec says:

    *sob* where is chapter 46!! Don’t make me actually have to get up and do stuff… dishes, folding and blah blah!! 🙂 Keep up the great work Monique, have LOVED the last few chapters after missing them while on holidays. Can’t wait to read about new baby news for the Greys! xx


  38. paulaleja says:

    thank you!
    I love the way tell the story, each public as a chapter?
    I’m from Colombia and I do not speak English then I do is translate it, but it’s fantastic.
    I always want more of Ana and Christian.

    thanks, thanks, thanks.


    • Monique Lain says:

      You’re so welcome! Glad you enjoy it. I post a chapter a week, usually over a weekend, and I also have some short stories in the sidebar on the left hand side of the screen, below the music. Christmas, Quickie, Valentine’s and Spanish Meander.. Thank you for reading! 😉


  39. Samara S. says:

    OMG, Christian cracks me up!!! Poor Ana!!!
    You have done amazing with both characters. I’m very pleased with all the tweaks and points you’ve made with them.
    I have to ask you something though. I’m sure you are super busy with the others you write, but are you gonna take this all the way to the end or will we have to wonder about a second one?
    I’m sorry to put you on the spot, if I did, I apologize. But I’m just dying to know. I’m very fascinated and in love with where you have taken this.
    Thank you so much for writing this and for your time!!! 😉


    • Monique Lain says:

      Hi Samara, the second one what? I’m more than happy to answer your question but I’m not sure what you mean love. Let me know, and I’m thrilled that you’re pleased! 😉


      • Samara S. says:

        I just meant by second one, were you going to finish this story and leave an opening for a second. I’m sorry, I should have asked in more detail. Lol… I think when I asked our 3 year baby girl, was wanting her “floaters” for the pool. Lol…..
        She can be very distracting and all consuming…. Lol
        Thank you so much for taking the time to answer questions!!! 🙂


        • Monique Lain says:

          LOL! No worries. Uhm, I’ve not given it much thought, as long as I have something to write about these two I may as well continue as I’m going. Maybe skip a period and start at a later date or do little one shots, frames of scenes over time. As it is it’s at least three books worth if it’s a long book like FSOG was. 😉 I love chatting to my readers, it’s the best! 😉


          • Samara S. says:

            I was never a book worm until about 3 years ago. I hated reading anything. Lol… I not a blog person either, but you really grabbed my attention. I actually have a few a my girlfriends wrapped into your web also…
            As long as there’s a story of Ana and Christian, and it’s of their nature, I’ll read it, I’m sure. Lol. Thank you again for the story. I’m pretty hooked, and now I’m loving that my girls are reading it too. We all say the same thing. You have really open a different plot with them, and it’s so captivating and very creative. Needless to say we talk about a lot. We have it on the iPad and the iPhone. 😉


            • Monique Lain says:

              Wonderful! It’s great that you’re reading and it’s even greater that you share my story around. Thank you! I know what you mean, I have all my books on my iPone, Pod and Pad, I can’t live without technology and my precious books… 😉


  40. Samara S. says:

    I really hope you keep going on with the story!!!!
    I’m willing it!!! 😉 lol


  41. Dee says:

    Ms Monique, I love love the song black black heart, if they make a movie this would have to be CG’s theme, such a sexy song. I’ve never heard it before.


  42. kredyty says:

    Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to your blog before but after looking at a few of the posts I realized it’s new to me.
    Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I discovered it and I’ll be book-marking it and checking back regularly!


  43. sapphiredreams says:

    Gawd I feel so sorry for this woman. He’s trampled all over her, ruined her dreams two — count them — two times, and she’s squealing like a game show contestant.

    Of course Julie is going to say this. Christian’s PR people probably wrote it for her! You don’t think someone like him would just let Julie say what she really thinks, do you? Again, this will not improve Ana’s credibility in her profession. Once again, she’s supposed to be a happy little lapdog, lapping her dreams from her master’s fingers.

    If he really loved her, or had any belief in her talent at all, he’d let her have her dreams, let her have one achievement that he can’t take away the credit for.

    The only things Ana ever wanted were the things money can’t buy, and those are the only things he refuses to give her: respect, freedom, trust…

    Ana is supposed to have self-esteem because a list of predators and psychos have targeted her? Her “self-esteem” is defined as just whether she thinks she’s pretty? The self-esteem problem that caused the divorce (and I don’t believe it was that at all) was not that she doubted Christian thought she was pretty.

    Self-esteem is based on perceived worth — that comes from accomplishment and achievement. Christian senses that — he knows that if he allowed her her own achievements and triumphs, she might actually HAVE a feeling of self-worth. (He bases his on his wealth, after all.) He doesn’t want her to feel good about herself, or have any independence. (Why is independence a fault in her, when it’s not a fault in him, though he raises it to the level of arrogance?)

    If he doesn’t let her feel good about herself, if he crushes out the spark that makes her unique, herself, then she really will just look at the floor. She’ll be “resigned, submissive”. He’s finally won.


  44. Tasha says:

    I’ve caught up with all the chapters in just one weekend and am torn between continuing, and slowing it down so there’s always more to read. Thanks for sharing your wonderful writing. I’m loving what you’re doing with Christian and Ana!


  45. Payal Pritam says:

    I can not stop laughing after reading “the baby making”….its so funny….great chapter…thanks… 😉


  46. mitzijem says:

    With the movie coming out there are so many people posting sub par stories on FF. It would be great If you could post your re-edited chapters so new readers could discover your writing and your wonderful Meander stories. They are not easy to discover on the site when you don’t know to search for them.


    • Monique Lain says:

      Yeah, I’ll repost Valentine as chapters on FF shortly which will update my story and take it to the top, albeit briefly. When you replace a chapter with a new one on FF it doesn’t bump your story up.


  47. MacMohair says:

    Ana’s discovery of Christian’s list of aids to fertility is best part of this whole story. Very cleverly concocted.


  48. M1. says:


    This guy really wants a baby!


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